Month: February 2017

It’s been awhile since I’ve spent the morning at the pool. You know how it is, you get busy with tasks, obligations, the requirements of living on the planet, and the next thing you know, you haven’t taken a mental health moment in who knows how long. This morning was going to be my moment.

While I was gathering a towel, beach bag, and water bottle I noticed the lawn maintenance crew had shown up out front. Before I could change into my swimsuit I could hear lawn mowers working outside. Okay, not ideal, but they probably won’t be long. Our apartment complex is large, and they always start with our building first, so I figured a few moments of disruption and they would move on.

By the time I had descended the stairs and rounded the end of the driveway I had encountered the leaf blowers! In my opinion this is a useless tool. You blow leaves from one side of the driveway to the other, wait a week, so the wind can have a chance at them once more, and then show up to do it all over again. This is the top-tier in job security! These machines are seriously loud! What’s more, these guys work as a team, so you don’t have one leaf blower, you have four! That number sends the decibel count into the stratosphere!  Heavy sigh, but they shouldn’t be long.

As I approached the pool gate I noted the wind was a notch or two above breezy, yet significantly lower than a gale. It’s not cold out and in fact, the wind would shoo away both humidity and the heat of the Florida sun. Since the pool isn’t heated, this time of year it takes a little grit to get into it. The wind was welcome and would keep me from overheating. However, we live at the end of the Naples airport runway. Once upon a time there was plenty of commercial traffic in here, but that has long since gone. Now we have mostly small planes and private jets, but don’t misinterpret private to mean modest. They are good size! Most of the time, we hardly notice the airport’s proximity, but when the wind is just right those planes use a different runway and then it becomes a game changer. Today they are taking off with their tails toward me, running up their engines as they go through their paces, increasing to that deep rumble as they throttle up while galloping down the runway. Though I don’t mind the sound, this morning I was seeking a serene experience, not an exhilarating one.

I lay my towel across the lounge chair, position my beach pillow, put my water bottle where I can reach it and figure that the planes are probably there to stay, but at least the groundkeepers will soon be working farther away.

Wait! What is this fresh hell that has just arrived upon the scene? A street sweeper? Seriously! They are there to clean up the mess in the driveway left by the city water guys who fixed the water line yesterday. “Beep, Beep, Beep” as he backed up, pulled forward, and backed up again, and again, and again!

I opened my eyes to see an idyllic landscape of swaying palm trees, sunshine, and water. I closed my eyes and heard only a cacophony of assaulting decibels. I had chosen poorly! I should have stayed upstairs! I have a book to finish writing, and taxes to do. No quiet meditative, re-energizing moment was to be had. Instead, I laughed! Good medicine, either way!

When we arrived in the parking area, which was small and primitive, I noted that we were the only people there. I wasn’t complaining. I like having the trail to ourselves. All the better for an opportunity to see some wildlife. We were faced with a 10 ft fence, topped with barbed wire. Gates were locked with heavy chains and padlocks. Signs were fixed to the fence, making it clear that you were not to drive your vehicle any farther, if for some reason you thought to storm the gate! There were two walking opportunities. The one to our left was only .3 miles, called the “Memorial Trail”. I hope that wasn’t meant to be prophetic. The other was 1.3 miles, called the “Panther Trail”. Naturally we chose the Panther Trail. There was a door that served as a gate in the fence that opened to the trail. The door was on a hinge, so that it would close behind you, if you were careless enough to leave it open. As we walked through to the other side, I felt as though I had just entered the T-Rex paddock in Jurassic Park! Suddenly, this didn’t seem like the great idea it was last week. I am always bravest in my living room! 

I thought it would be fun to visit the National Florida Panther Wildlife Refuge that isn’t far from where we live. We’ve driven by the sign many times on our way across Alligator Alley. Time to check it out.  What’s the first thing you do when going to a new place? Review the website. That’s what I did, so I knew beforehand there was limited access to the area, only open from dawn to dusk, that it was unlikely that we would see a panther on our visit, but just in case, keep small children close at hand. There was a short list of what to do in case of an actual panther encounter and that was about it.

The Florida Panther is believed to be one of the most endangered mammals in the U.S., with an approximate population of 120-160 cats. Once roaming the southeast, they now only live in south Florida. The Panther Preserve provides 26, 400 acres of safe refuge and protected habitat for them. The preserve is securely fenced, but I don’t know if all of it is, or only part. I don’t know if the fence is to keep the panthers in, or the people out, or both. Panthers clearly live beyond the confines of this refuge, recognized by road signs throughout Collier County warning, “Panther Crossing”, and the headlines that all too often report that another panther had a deadly encounter with a car. I would love to see a panther in the wild and was ready to explore a very small portion of panther territory, or so I thought!

I don’t know what I was expecting, but this wasn’t quite it. Most walks we have been on in south Florida are on raised boardwalks, primarily because they span water and dense foliage. Those boardwalks offer a false sense of security. A barrier to all things wild, when it really isn’t, but you come to feel that way. The Memorial Trail afforded wheelchair accessibility, and though I’m not sure it was actually paved, it certainly was wider than what I currently faced on the Panther Trail. Shortly beyond the gate the trail narrowed to single-track, with the swamp encroaching to within arm’s reach on both sides. It was dense and dark. I found that my eyes were darting from one side to the other and even toward the treetops, because though I was told that it would be rare for me to see a panther, I wasn’t so convinced that it would be rare for a panther to see me! I longed for a little more elbow room, and suggested to Kim that perhaps we should keep talking. You know, make our presence known. He said I should feel free to sing. I laughed, while my brain searched for an appropriate tune. 

We may have walked 20, possibly 30 yards when I asked Kim to stop so I could take a picture. He did and was suddenly swarmed by mosquitos! Three were lined up on his leg for a quick snack, and two just landed on my arm. We didn’t even think about bug spray this time of year! It may be the dry season, but this is the Everglades! We were being devoured, and at this rate in a mile the only evidence left of us would be our clothes. We retreated at a fast clip to our car! “Go, go, go! Drive!”, the windows down to chase out those winged vampires brazen enough to follow us into our safe haven! We vowed to come back wearing long sleeves and long pants, doused in the pungent smell of DEET, and having swallowed a big helping of bravery as we once again enter the lion’s den !

 

I was on my way to I-75 the other day, when I saw one of those portable flashing road signs that the police use to warn you about how fast you’re driving before you get a ticket, or that road construction crews temporarily erect for a small repair job, alerting you at the very last-minute that the lane you are driving in is closed in less distance than it takes to stop a bicycle! This sign, however, was flashing with this mandate, “You Must Stop At Red Lights”, followed by “Do Not Run Red Lights”.  Really? Are people actually driving around out there that don’t know this?!

This is south Florida, and though we have a deluge of snowbirds and an inordinate number of foreigners, I’m pretty sure that red lights have a universal meaning, except perhaps in Rome, where they really do seem to be merely a notable suggestion.  If this sign is necessary, perhaps the practice of renewing our driver’s license online, without a quiz to see if we remember the rules should be revisited, rather than an on-the-road, behind the wheel refresher! On second thought, perhaps it isn’t such a bad idea.

Here are a few signs I wouldn’t mind seeing on the road.  “Driving more than 5 mph under the speed limit makes you a road hazard!” “Driving 10 mph over the speed limit also makes you a road hazard!” “Changing lanes without using your turn signal assumes we’re all mind-readers!” “This is not Daytona, and you are not that good!” “Texting while driving makes you a special kind of stupid!”

Driving is probably one of the most dangerous things we do in ordinary, daily life. It is not a contact sport and it is not a race. We all need to practice a little patience and human kindness, and if we all get to where we’re going without “boom, boom, crunch, crunch”, we all win. If you need to be reminded to stop at a red light, immediately pull over, turn off your car, remove the keys and then throw them as far as you can. You really shouldn’t be driving!